A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, "How much for a beer?"The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."... Read More »
a snare drum and crash cymbol fall out of a tree.. baduumm, tssshhh... Read More »
Two men are standing on a golf course. The first one steps up, tees his first ball, and positions himself for a swing. The man lifts his club, swings smoothly down and smacks the ball into the air. It sails off in a nice, long arc, but as it comes down the two men can see that it's heading straight ... Read More »
A traveling salesman is driving down a country road when he comes across a farmer who is standing in his orchard, hoisting pigs into the apple trees with ropes. He stops. "What are you doing?" the salesman asks. "I'm feeding the pigs," answers the farmer, incredulous that someone could ask a questio... Read More »
Q. How do you keep the neighbor's kids from playing in your yard? A. F*ck one of them.... Read More »
What's the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence.... Read More »
Jesus walks into a hotel. He hands the inkeeper three nails and asks... "Can you put me up for the night?"... Read More »
A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer,he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that thebar was empty except for himself and the bartender. A few sips later thevoice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over."... Read More »
How do you catch a green elephant? Paint him red and catch him with the red elephant trap.... Read More »
How do you catch a rabbit? Hide in a meadow and make carrot noises.... Read More »
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